Stuck in my head.....

October 28, 2018

It is Sunday night and my boys are in bed. I am making dinner for my and my hubby, leftovers for me and something quick and easy for him. Thing is, I am losing patience with everyone and everything. I am so stuck in my own head that I don't know which way is up right now.  Everything seems to be bothering me and I feel like nothing I am doing is right or will make a difference. 

Someone who I looked up to for my teen years and performed my marriage could have been killed yesterday doing his job that he loves, while those who were murdered were simply doing what they loved to do, praying to god, seeking peace in this crazy world. 

How do you explain that one? 

I teach in a synagogue, my children and family attends multiple synagogues. We are not safe anywhere it seems.  I already looked over my shoulder at the movies, the mall, walking around big cities, the subway and train...and now this. This is the world I am raising my children in and it scares me. 

None of that makes me feel better about the other things swirling in my head; my money issues....my health journey, my struggles with food, feeling lost, lonely, missing my friends....  sorry, not trying to throw a pity party, I got my myself into some of these situations, the money and being fat ones..... but... it doesn't make them hurt any less or be any less hard.  

I am sticking with my workouts, and eating as best I can, but the rest, not sure how to get my head wrapped around that without getting sucked in too deep. 

I work my ass off to make extra money and it just builds and builds...... I just feel like it is a slope I can't climb up. 

'til next time xx